hmm hey girls...
struggling some today... ate and purged 2 times... How can I go weeks and then bam... there it is again...

My weight is so utterly disgusting I want to puke it all away... but that doesnt happen...
I have been eating about 1200 calories a day, doing pretty good not purging... but my weight is still going up... I am technically OVERWEIGHT now. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow if she wont do anything i am stopping the medication that is causing the weight gain.
There is NO reason, NO logical reason for the weight gain, I am active, I eat healthy, I am 'regular' in the bathroom without lax, I do not binge ever without purging and purging has dropped significantly

I dont know... how do I lose this weight? I have 3 pairs of pant I can wear... only 3 and none of them are jeans... I have 10-12 other pairs of pants in my closet... cant wear a single pair... Too Damn Fat

Bought a pair of jeans at the store the other day and didnt try them on... should have... got home and they didnt fit... and they were bigger than all my other jeans... I just want to get back to my size 8 jeans and thats not even small... heck a size 4 would be heaven right now... climbing into fricken plus size clothes messes with my head, i cant buy them... i will stay home never leave till i lose weight and not have to put myself in the place to ever buy or wear plus size jeans again... So I have to return the jeans I got the other day and if I cant find another style in normal sizes I will not get any. I DO NOT need to buy something that will not last... I will NOT stay fat... I CANT

Im done... <3