Not much to say right now... disgusted with myself...
I went to the food pantry today for some help with food... I told myself I would be good with it... Last time I got food from there (2 years ago) not all of it was appealing... but now today I suck... I ate and purged 4 times... DISGUSTING!!!!
I was 158.0 today... still gross... I was able to wear a pair of jeans I have not been able to wear since before Christmas... that is a good sign. I still need to lose about 30 more pounds... 25-30
Uggg I am tired... I had a migraine last night... I had gone without one of my medications... didnt put it together till 1 am... so from 11:30 to 1 I suffered before figuring it out... I still suffered after that but took tylenol, got a stomach ache... finally fell asleep.
Had to get up early... therapy today went fine... while walking I saw Charlie... talked a little... once I got home (with all the food from the food pantry- like 30 pounds at least) I was dead exhausted... laid down... Charlie wanted to see me... so I walked to McDonalds... got a hot chocolate (NO FOOD) talked to him for awhile... it was weird...
I went back home... ate and purged... I figured since I had hot chocolate in me that i was going to get rid of might as well eat.
I laid down for an hour... at 5 Charlie text me again... asking if I were home alone... I said yeah whats up he said I'll be right over... he brought me a cappuccino... talked for a few minutes... told me I was really pretty, that I had better be good with my eating... that he cares about me... i would always be like his sister... made some vague creepy statements...
After he left I ate again... purged again... used the computer... then like an hour- hour and a half ago (9-9:30) he was texting me again... asking me if I were home alone... I got real nervous... started sweating and shaky... why is he so concerned if I am home alone?
He said Missy was up... (I knew that)... He told me to text him later... i told him i was going to bed... perhaps tomorrow...
Does this make either of you think bad? Like after the 3rd time he asked me if I were home alone I started getting like this 'red flag feeling' its like something is OFF about this person I DO NOT feel comfortable.
uUggggg
Alright... gotta go to bed... HUGZ
~Kristi
=^..^=
1 comment:
sorry you had such a hard day with mia..as i can remember,from your posts in your blog here,you haven't had 4 bp's in a long time...
I hope you feel better today,no headach,and no stomac pain.
Hmm,how good do you know Charlie? And what kind of relation is it between you? It sounds weired that he asked you the same question over and over tho,and for what reason did he wanted to know that?
I dont know hun,maybe you should ask him?
Take care of your self sweetie.
I'm going home for easter today,but i'll bring my computer,so i will update my blog,and i'll be at msn if you wanna chatt.
Love you girl.
Hugs
xxx
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