I am not feeling to great... I am so disgusted by my weight...
Besides not exercising I am not being bad I eat about 1000 calories... sometimes not even, I dont over eat, I am not purging most of the time... so i need to get myself to exercise more... i am going to buy a exercise bike but i wont be able to until january
money is not good this month... and it is only a little more than a week into the month
I had to buy a new winter coat... I havnt gotten it yet but its on its way... i hate being so fat
why cant i eat normal and weigh normal?
I visited MF tonight... it would be so easy to go back there... let myself get in to it... not really sure if it would help me lose weight but heck right now I am so disgusted I am thinking about it
Laila girl you are 100 pounds! wow amazing hope you are staying healthy I am jealous
I am so frustrated and upset about things with mark... i feel like crying, like a tightness in my chest and a knot in my stomach, I text him he doesnt answer for days... I havnt seen him since I told him I didnt want to be just for sex... he was sick for a week... then he said he was sad and couldnt talk about it... about 2 weeks ago he said he was feeling better but I havnt talked to him, ive tried texting he answered and he doesnt explain anything wont say anything
Why did I even bother finding him... I should just let things go and say whatever... i cant change him or anything... i have never pictured myself with anyone besides him... im 28 and i dont know if it will happen... I need to find a nice house with the ability to have more than one cat and ehhh what would be the point... i would never have a family, do you know being with mark has made me realize how much I really do want a family
I dont know this just makes things seem pointless what good is my life i dont know right now