Psychocats Journey

Thursday, January 28, 2010

what a day, what a day, what a day

Today has been one of those days... uggg

I go up in the morning and went to the bank, pharmacy and store. It was freezing... uggg

I got home was on the computer for a little while, after a few hours I went and took a nap. I had eaten and purged before taking the nap.
Since being up I have eaten and purged 3 more times... the $12 worth of food I bought is just about gone... a box of cereal, milk, cookie mix and 4 muffins.... Yes all carbs

uggg i dont even dare weigh myself... I am scared to.

The 1 lax I took last night did not progress much besides air... so 2 tonight... I always crave the feeling of the empty but when the lax are actually working I HATE it. I always forget how much... tell myself i will never do it again.... I forget though... Like I can say all this but it doesnt make me 'remember' the actual pain?
I dont know how to describe it.

Uggg at the end of my second purge today I had MAJOR acid... it is really wierd, I take a maximum dose of acid reducer medication and usually dont have a lot of acid problems... but ohh my gosh i threw up like 1/2 cup straight acid... ohhh not fun or nice

its just about 11 pm... i am ready to go crawl in my bed and get warm...

I am thinking of moving my living room around... maybe tomorrow... we'll see
alright I guess that is all for tonight...
~Kristi
=^..^=

1 comment:

Laila said...

i agree about the lax...you crave the empty feeling,but the cramps hurt like hell!!!

hope you get warm soon,its painfull to always be cold...

hang in there my love.

xxx