Psychocats Journey

Friday, August 6, 2010

hey... i dont know what it wrong with me tonight... i just want to cry, no real reason... I went to the store and bought a bunch of crap... spent money that I don't really have... what my sister pays me for watching the kids will have to go toward my electric bill... I have no idea how much it will be... now im pissed at myself...

I dont know I thought I would feel better after shopping... lol of course not thats just crap... who can really feel better spending money you dont have... causing more problems...

I am supposed to go out with mark this weekend... I feel disgusting... how can I let him see me... but then I feel very sad if I think of not seeing him. This is ridiculous

I used lax yesterday... lost 8 pounds... that is so gross... I am so utterly fat.... Started walking a little more now... eating less, purging more bad foods... I cannot keep bad foods, my body doesn't handle them... it get fatter...

I am 171... BLAHHGGGG Barf
last year this time I was a good 30 pounds lighter

I want to be healthy and better but I do not want to be fat... fatter

2 comments:

Gronk11 said...

Kristi, you're not fat. 171lbs on someone six foot tall is not fat. It's normal.

<3

Laila said...

sorry to hear you feel like you do about your self huni..but we have a tendens to see our selves much worse than we really are ;)

Hope you went out with Mark,and that you had a good time.

Love you sugarpie :D

<3 hugs <3