uggg I am such a fat ass... it has been raining all day... i want to walk but not in this.
My scale still says FAT... no weight change UGGG why? I keep in like 500 calories a day maybe. I purged 2 times yesterday... uggg
I almost passed out last night... I got up after laying down for a couple hours. got up and everything moved sideways... i fell to the bed. Then I made it to the bathroom... standing up from using the toilet my legs almost gave out... I grabbed the sink but steadied myself. What the heck? I drank some G2 gatorade yesterday and I dont even do that usually... Maybe it was my meds... I had a HORRIBLE headache last night too so maybe that was it.

alright that is it for tonight, maybe more later

hey... found out that at the candlelight vigil last night i made the newspaper...http://thedailynewsonline.com/articles/2010/04/24//news/orleans_county/6692197.img
http://thedailynewsonline.com/articles/2010/04/24/news/orleans_county/6692197.txt

uggg hey... i noticed just now that when I wrote yesterday i said when i weigh myself i was fat... how could i ever just say WAS fat... I AM FAT , always will be.

I walked for 2 hours... but I am a failure... at least I feel that way because I didnt make it to the same miles as yesterday. 10.45 miles... uggg all at once... but yesterday 2 trips ...

i am so tired... i feel as if all i want to do is walk and sleep... i dont even care to really watch the shows i watch

uggg alright... i dont have much to say sorry
~Kristi

Hey loves... I am confused... I just got back from the candle light vigil for crime victims... its crime victims awareness week... I know why I go, but why do I go to feel so bad? I go to support the cause... but the feelings going leaves me with are not nice. I want to drink or take a bunch of pills to not feel... Of course I have neither that would make me not feel.

I was FAT today when I weighed myself... i am not surprised... 158... BLAH... according to a website http://www.halls.md/body-mass-index/bmi.htm I am in the 36th percentile of americans my height... that means 64 % of women my height weigh more than I do. that kinda makes me feel good... probably mean of me though... If I can get my body back to 135, 90% of people my height would weigh more than me... too bad I couldnt get everyone my height to weigh more than me. then I might be thin enough.

I walked... did well with that. 12.19 miles, 1095 calories burned (by pedometer) heart rate monitor was so far only 1850 calories and 240 grams of fat

I transfer all the change in my savings account to my checking and then returned my soda bottles... got 8 dollars... bought bread, peanut butter and jam... ate a few pieces of bread already...

BLAH okay well I guess that is it... i want to go eat a can of pineapple but i cant... i have a huge canker sore on my tongue and it hurts like hell... pineapple would make it hurt WORSE
HUGZ
~Kristi
=^..^=

have been all tired and worn out today... stupid me...
i had my appointment with my case worker today... went alright...
i went back to bed after...

my sister called asked if the kids could come spend the night... i said yeah... i texted her  an hour or so ago said that i would need them to bring a few things i had no milk, cereal or bread. so she texted me if i needed money then... i said no as long as they can bring a few things... then she said never mind the kids can stay home.
UGGGg i hate that I was ready to watch the kids, no i wasnt asking for money but I want the kids to be able to eat. It is one thing for me to deny myself food but to deny them... sorry that is not me...

uggg she really annoyed me... i texted her a very long text but she hasnt answered. I tried calling twice and tried my nephews phone as well... no answers
alright good night my loves...
~Kristi
=^..^=

uggg yeah fat... im fat... fatter...
I came home tonight... weighed myself... UGGG FAT between yesterday and today I was up A LOT... I was 165.4 YUK I purged and was down to 162.8 yes it is night time so that will be helpful as tomorrow morning I should be lower.

I worked on the cabnet at my sisters all day... no real walking... sanding, scraping, painting and staining... for hours... uggg but it is just about done... have to finish off the hinges and reattach the doors...

alright i will write tomorrow... i am beat... hugs

hey loves... i was down from 160 yesterday to back to 158 today... i cant believe I gained 4 pounds with the meal on sunday.
Today will be just as bad though... at my sisters... went to the mall with my niece... ate at the mall with her and her step sons...

then back at my sisters I ate a little of what they had for dinner (just the potatos)... i want popcorn but I believe I have eaten WAY too much so it will not happen. Going home tomorrow night...

walked before I came to my sisters and then walked at the mall... good day walking wise...10.3 miles burned 867 calories...  heart monitor says for the day I burned 336 Grams of fat and 2593 calories... not horrible but pretty bad for eating what I did today...

Alright thats it... im rather tired and I cannot sleep in tomorrow
HUGZ
~Kristi
=^..^=