ugggg

Well, here I am another day. It is supposedly warmer but I am still freezing. I am so sick of the cold.
Less than an hour ago I was ready to just go back to bed, I was just so cold.

I have had all three of my workers (therapist, case manager and depaul worker) ask me this week about purging. Is it obvious? I havnt only lost like 5 lbs. so its not that, hell they dont notice when I lost 10 unless I am wearing something slimming.

I floored Brenda once when she asked what I was weighing, I had told her and she was like but thats like 10 lbs less than the last time I knew (she knew). I was pissed because well how can you not see a 10 pound difference? I see the 5 pound difference.

I need to get a hold of myself though, I need to stop with the ridiculous carb addiction. Do either one of you know what the average carbohydrate consumption should be? I know it should be 40% of your diet right?
So me doing the 20 net carbs is that too little to start with when my brain is so addicted?

I need to lose this weight but I am too LAZY to do like a exercise video. I wish my sister didnt get rid of my exercise bike. Heck, I want a treadmill. Shannon watch out! lol ehh its too heavy and too far away to borrow. uggggg

I could walk and watch tv, listen to music, even use my laptop with this table that i have. uggg i would never have enough money for one anyway so why wish.

I am so tired. I am ready for bed. I sat straight up from a nightmare last night. My heart was racing and I was sitting right up. It took me 2 hours to fall back asleep,  I dont even remember what the nightmare was.

Alright this is it for tonight.
Love you girls,
~Kristi
=^..^=