man oh man... am shaky as all heck... ate cookies till i was nauseous from the sugar, and purged... and rinsed... and purged... still too much sugar in my system... UGGGG

Ummm weight... even though I was up early I was down 1.2 pounds YAY... 187.2, but hey after my purge I was 187... I RARELY ever get lower than my morning weight ever in the day...

went christmas shopping... got it almost done... got like 2 people left... not bad... but I have to mail 2 packages... and a bunch of christmas cards...

I am going to wrap some presents in a little bit ... I love wrapping... its relaxing... except when Tiger tries to help lol...

I will take pictures if he decides to join me... he is sleeping on my bed right now... he loves my electric blanket as much as I do

ahhh tomorrow is a day off... yay...

Mark text me today... said he was dying... he got sick overnight... hmmm... he called last night... said his ex wife leaving him this time of year ruins this time of year for him... his doctors told him to take an anti depressant and he said no... being depressed is who he is, he doesnt want to change it... every year he breaks down about his ex wife... mourns her... its been 4 years... I dont want my relationship with him to be measuring up to his ex wife... I want to change his view of this time of year... make it something he wants to be apart of... but if he wont let me in, wont let me care... I dont know

alright.. <3