ugggg ok i might as well write...
I am still the fattest pig in the universe but we knew that already so nothing new there.

I got off my ass today and walked... 9.45 miles... too bad it wasnt 10...

I didnt weigh myself today or yesterday, i really dont want to see the fatness I have become. or the worsening of it.

I have been going a little crazy... my sisters ex (Charlie) I wrote a little about him here and there... well he has been really fixated on Kayla, it is really concerning. Renee moved out of her old house and left Charlie, since then Charlie calls, texts, and tries to see Kayla, NOT NICK at all... JUST KAY

Ok yeah he could just miss her, but he was around Nick for those 3 years too... AND when renee and him were together he was the one always yelling at Kay. Nick never mattered.

Now last week Charlie saw Kay at her dance practice, he gave her a rose. that was weird. I got a knot in my stomach. After dance Renee let Charlie take Kay home... ALONE and guess what Kay had a horrible mood shift again, was misbehaving, not acting well in school and wet the bed again. (after not wetting the bed in a while)

THAT IS NOT A GOOD SIGN

I saw renee last thursday, rode with her to an appointment she had in Greece, Charlie text me asking if renee and I were going back to her house (I didnt tell him I was with her)... I said no, he said ohh I saw you guys out on ridge road (we are on that road but it is a VERY long road). I said yeah

5 minutes later as we Just walked in to the Joann Fabrics store, i got a text saying have fun in Joanns... Okay SERIOUSLY Greece is not a little town! its a fricken 4 lane road, tons of businesses and how the HECK did he know where we were? He MUST have been following us.

I stopped answering him because I was weirded out and nervous. after we got done at the store, he had started texting renee to try to talk to kay, ok renees psychiatrist thinks something is wrong with the way charlie is focusing (almost obsessed) with Kay. Renee was going to let Kay talk to him, I took renees phone and said NO she does NOT need to talk to him, something is going on and it needs to stop. Renee looked at me and said 'oh yeah'

IM SORRY BUT i hate the fact that I was abused when i was little... i am having such a hard time distancing myself. i am picturing what Kay might be going through... I am feeling it all over again. the guilt the shame, thats the worse. I want to disappear from it all but I cant if I want to help Kay

Quite a few people believe that Charlie may have been sexually abusing Kay, if not by touching her but by having her touch him. I AM SO SCARED FOR HER.

I dont want her to have gone through this.

I got renee to admit that she needs to keep Charlie away from Kayla but then today I saw renee and she was talking about letting the kids go see charlie... i flipped on her... i told her she couldnt... if she continues to put kay in situations with charlie and something is happening... she will be arrested. I will turn her in. That is child abuse.

I have been having nightmares... i am freaking out about Kay, I dont know what to do. how do I help her. She wont say if anything is happened but all the signs are there. If it is not sexual abuse it still is emotional, and Charlie may be grooming her to abuse her further.

I cant stand this.
I gotta go... i cant keep writing right now
sorry
~Kristi