Im really scared right now... Ive know for a while that my mom has been ill, but tomorrow she has to go in for a liver biopsy. There is a risk for bleeding and my moms blood levels are off some... but the doctors know that.
I really hate my feelings... for so long I had harsh feelings for my mom. Putting me up for adoption, not believeing me about the abuse... keeping my brothers... but a lot of those harsh feelings I dont have any longer... I have accepted that if she hadnt given me up for adoption I would not have the family I have now... I still struggle with the fact that she did not believe me about the abuse but this last year we worked on it some, she does not remember me ever telling her (even though it was 3 days before she abandoned me at the police station).
I guess I feel guilty, even though I believe on some level that I do not need to feel guilty, because my mom is so ill, I know it just matters that I am there for her now... but what about all the time I missed with her? BUT then again I didnt give myself up for adoption, I didnt chose to miss that time.
My mom was hospitalized back in the beginning of August, they had no idea what was wrong. She woke up and could not walk correctly, her speech was messed up, shaking(tremors), and she had recently lost a lot of weight...
My mom was transfered to another hospital like 3 weeks later, the hospital she was in messed up with a spinal tap. The new hospital kept her for 2 days and sent her to a rehab facility. She was there for about 2 weeks. When they sent her home they still did not know what was wrong with her. They put in a PIC line and had her doing IV antibiotics at home. She could barely walk around her apartment... the county did not have anything set up for her... she could not go to the grocery store or do laundry until they got her aides...
They finally did that... The hospital said she might have Lyme disease... its been months since they said that and I dont think anyone believes that now.
During one of the tests while she was in the hospital it was noted that she had abnormally high amounts of copper in her blood and urine...
The hospitals did nothing...
Around November a new doctor that my mom was seeing saw the results in some of the hospital files about the copper levels... so he ordered another set of the same tests, and then for her to go to a neurological optometrist. The doctor believe she has Wilsons disease. It is a disease where her body can not get rid of or metabolize copper. So it builds up and damages the liver, the brain, and other body functions.
This disease is ALWAYS fatal, treatment can help for long periods of time... if the treatment is early enough.
But given the fact that my mom has so many problems/symptoms it is unlikely that it is early in the disorder.
There is another test to determine if you have this disease, if you have K-F rings... they are copper deposits in the eyes... And my mom has them.
My mom is only 50... I dont want her to die, I dont want her to be so sick that she is in danger.  My mom has good spirits, she is relying heavily on her faith and the church. BUT my mom DOES NOT ask questions... she prefers to remain oblivious to anything regarding the disease or what may happen.
I cant even go and see her like I want, she is too far away... she is only like 4-5 hours away but she cant drive, i dont drive... bus tickets to there are above $100
I dont want anything to happen to her.
On top of all that this disease is herititary, because my mom has this I have a 25% chance of developing it.
I dont know... Im just really worried right now...