hey... my mom (bio) called again today... she tried talking to Travis... about the stuff that happened when we were young... My mom said he didnt know what I was talking about. Did he block it out? Why did he say basically it didnt happen? Am I overthinking all this?
I seriously have been going crazy with all this... I know memories can be real... but I also know that memories can be changed when you believe the lie too much it no longer becomes a lie. I am questioning my memories. I know things happened. I KNOW that. but what is the truth. my mother said i misbehaved... i had a lot of problems. something was wrong with me. I stole food, which is the only 'bad' thing I really  remember. I dont know what 'bad' things i did when i was young. Why my mom took me to that police station and left me there.
I always believed it was because of the abuse.. because I was a girl. she kept my brothers... Why was I so bad? What was wrong with me? Am I still that way because I dont know how I was... am i bad?

I dont understand it... I could NEVER give my child up because they 'misbehaved' what COULD a child do to ever make me give them up? I do not believe I could ever do that. so something is different with me... was i not like another child. something worse? heck i dont know what could be that? a demon? an evil presence?

I dont know...