hey...
weight is f*ed up... I purged for an hour last night and still could not get 3 bagels up (got everything else though), Stupid body
I took 4 lax, I am so glad that is 'a lot' for me... but man so much more painful than 1

I had therapy today... very frustrated with this 'I eat 1000-1200 calories a day to stay my weight, my itty bitty weight' MY THERAPIST SAID THAT

she thinks 114 is itty bitty, I am MASSIVE UGGGGG

I ate 2 pineapple rings at 2:30, went out with a friend for chinese (did not binge). Lax were still working (still are lol) so going to the store with her after I had to go to the bathroom. I wanted to purge but I told myself I wouldnt with her, i could when i got home. She knows about my ed and she sees the same therapist as me. I had to go to the bathroom again at the next store... She looked at me weird when i came out. I told her some foods with grease bother me since i had my gallbladder out. She said that sucks... so I hope she believed me. I really didnt purge.

i got home a little while ago... drank some water, purged... weight is still crap even though the lax are working.

I just made some broccoli... im keeping it in.

got some more crochet thread, one purple to finish the shirt i am making and then 4 pink for a different top.
we went to target because my friend wanted to get a couple tops. I tried on a pair of jeans and jean knee length shorts... I dont know what I was thinking... I tried 5s... but like my hip bones are too big... I KNOW I am fat but my hip bones are there, you can feel them, not much around them but that just means im big. I wore today a pair of junior 7s and they were a little loose. I dont know... i was going to try some on tomorrow at walmart but i dont know im so fat

uggg alright i guess that is it for tonight... my legs are hurting a lot and im tired

I go grocery shopping tomorrow with my case worker... I need to buy smart... i only have about $100 in food stamps