i am so disgusted with myself right now
i feel like the size of a house or elephant or something equally as huge
I just bp'd again... turkey and cheese sausages, 2 popcans of biscuits, butter, a bowl of potatoes... I just spent 50 minutes purging... i usually only take 20-25 minutes... I had to rinse 4 times and I still feel like there is some stuck in me, but I was purging till I was having a hard time standing, i would get all dizzy when I would go to the sink, i had to stop... im huge... my post purge weight was 127.6, disgusting, it was 125.2 after my last purge.
and you know what I JUST WANT TO GO EAT MORE, like RIGHT now! but I dont have the strength to purge so I CANT. If I ate and took lax I would still gain. I cant do that. I need to just go to sleep, i am so tired anyway.
If I can wait an hour maybe I can get some strength and wont pass out if I eat and purge... I can do this an hour is not that long
dentist appointment was alright... I usually wont eat for hours after a dental cleaning because I like the way my teeth feel so clean. But I was so nervous and anxious because I told them about the ed and was freaked out that they would judge me or something. But I know it was important that they know. My old dentist was a jerk and told me it didnt matter and just blew me off when I mentioned my concerns. This dentist was really nice, he said there was no reason to be nervous and that they are not there to judge me and that everything that is said there was confidential. So being all stressed out I started eating shortly after I left my appointment.
I bought some ACT stuff, its a fluoride mouthwash. The dentist recommended it to help the enamel strengthen, purging causes it to weaken (as well as other things).
hmmm im just thinking about food... ugggg i need to distract my brain. I finished the book I was reading, I have to get another one out... I just want to EAT
maybe I will be able to get more up if I bp again... that has happened before... not very often though... hmmm UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
1 comment:
Glad to hear the app. went well. I think its a good thing you told him,cause he knows how you can treat your teeth best. I dont have to pay full prize when I'm at mine,cause of my diagnose.
Hope you day has been good to you my dear <3
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