new day...
weight 156.2 thats down but I used 1 lax last night
I was supposed to use it this saturday but im not going to be home

ugg i really freaked myself out last night... i should have never wrote or thought about the potassium thing, i thought my chest was tight and kept thinking if my muscles are tight like this (not just my legs, but those are worst) than is my heart like tight? its a muscle...  and the night before last night i had a dream that triggered palpitations... only lasted about 20 seconds but scary...
I kept thinking my heart was tight and beating a little funny last night, twice i thought i stopped breathing.

then this morning i dreamed that i took too many meds on accident. (last night i filled my med box) I thought i just dumped the days worth into my little cup to take, but like normal the morning wasnt already missing. and i wasnt paying attention... THIS DREAM was SO REAL i ACTUALLY thought when i went to the bathroom i shouldnt take my meds this morning because the effects might be too soon. AND I thought it explained the feelings last night with my heart and the feeling like i stopped breathing...

But then i actually looked at my med box, i didnt do that. I didnt accidentally take too many meds... im glad but part of me is disappointed because now how do i explain all those feelings from last night?

I think about going to the doctor and asking for bloodwork, but if i do that then she will know i am doing ok... so i have to be okay. My doctor has authority to talk to my therapist and she does and will totally tell if she knows im back into my ed.

there are other signs in into it anyway... not just the weightloss... my eyes especially... i dont know i wish you could ask for bloodwork and not explain a lot

but i feel off... i hate this