Psychocats Journey

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Alright... yeah I am writing it now... I walked over 100 miles this month! Yay!
I ended up walking 133.9 miles! Woohoo! I burned 10,905 calories just by walking!

Alright I just wanted to say this lol Yay!
~Kristi
=^..^=

ohh I ate and purged 2 times today... I was 157.8 today... uggg still disgusting... talk later

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Hey Laila... little reply to you... Charlie was my sisters boyfriend for the last 3 years... Yeah I was thinking it was very weird he was continually asking if I were home alone... I am too nervous to bring it up though... What if he means wrong? I dont want any issues. I hope to talk to you soon... have a nice easter, love you

Tomorrow I will post my walking for the month... my weight was up alittle from all the purging yesterday... 158.8... YUK
I had oatmeal today... I feel like I ate a lot but I was talking with a friend and it only adds up to be about 300 calories... wow... i feel like it had to of been like 1000 or something... i know logically it isnt but i dont know... i can sometimes gain with just oatmeal
ugggg so confusing

I talked to my therapist yesterday about when i see my doctor next week about mentioning a breast reduction to my doctor... I get a lot of back pain and shoulder pain... I cant take a lot of pain pills like ibuprofen because it hurts my stomach... I hate having such huge breasts... Some people dont believe I wear a DD but yeah I do sometimes they shrink a little... WhenI am around 135 I can squeeze into a D... its gross...

I can even wear  my sisters bra I mean yeah it will be big around me but breasts size it would fit. Okay I just took a couple pictures... go ahead and barf lol
Big Breast especially on the right...

<----- NASTY

Monday, March 29, 2010

Not much to say right now... disgusted with myself...
I went to the food pantry today for some help with food... I told myself I would be good with it... Last time I got food from there (2 years ago) not all of it was appealing... but now today I suck... I ate and purged 4 times... DISGUSTING!!!!

I was 158.0 today... still gross... I was able to wear a pair of jeans I have not been able to wear since before Christmas... that is a good sign. I still need to lose about 30 more pounds... 25-30

Uggg I am tired... I had a migraine last night... I had gone without one of my medications... didnt put it together till 1 am... so from 11:30 to 1 I suffered before figuring it out... I still suffered after that but took tylenol, got a stomach ache... finally fell asleep.

Had to get up early... therapy today went fine... while walking I saw Charlie... talked a little... once I got home (with all the food from the food pantry- like 30 pounds at least) I was dead exhausted... laid down... Charlie wanted to see me... so I walked to McDonalds... got a hot chocolate (NO FOOD) talked to him for awhile... it was weird...
I went back home... ate and purged... I figured since I had hot chocolate in me that i was going to get rid of might as well eat.

I laid down for an hour... at 5 Charlie text me again... asking if I were home alone... I said yeah whats up he said I'll be right over... he brought me a cappuccino... talked for a few minutes... told me I was really pretty, that I had better be good with my eating... that he cares about me... i would always be like his sister... made some vague creepy statements...

After he left I ate again... purged again... used the computer... then like an hour- hour and a half ago (9-9:30) he was texting me again... asking me if I were home alone... I got real nervous... started sweating and shaky... why is he so concerned if I am home alone?
He said Missy was up... (I knew that)... He told me to text him later... i told him i was going to bed... perhaps tomorrow...

Does this make either of you think bad? Like after the 3rd time he asked me if I were home alone I started getting like this 'red flag feeling' its like something is OFF about this person I DO NOT feel comfortable.

uUggggg
Alright... gotta go to bed... HUGZ
~Kristi
=^..^=

DEER!!!

Wow okay I just got back from walking and I was on my street and like 2 houses down on the left (west) side of the street in the yard were 5 DEER!!! I was shocked. I thought for a second that the first deer I saw was a shooting practice thing. then it Moved lol. there were four others together eating the grass. This was cool. I live in town too so I was majorly surprised. I had seen deer footprints during the winter on the sidewalk but I didnt think too much about it besides wow... I think they are from the small patch of wooded area behind the grocery stores... so weird...

I will write later about my day
~Kristi
=^..^=

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Hi, yeah I already posted today but I thought I would update... I fixed the measurements of my pedometer... all is correct now... It took a little mathematical work but I like that.

I am over my 100 miles for the month but I wont write how much because I want to write it on the last day of the month.

I just weighed myself again... i purged something... still below what I was when I got up but higher than after the walk. 159.2

Tomorrow better be lower... I have to be up earlier tomorrow... therapy appointment. I was thinking about going to the food pantry... otherwise I have to wait till thursday for any sort of money... and friday for food stamps.

I wont purge all the food... so it can be okay just this once... I hate going to the food pantry knowing I will purge the food I get... but right now I am so stuck... I finished the last of my peanut butter last night... heck cleaned the container so well it looked new. (spatulas are good for something lol)

I am just about done with like a tiny bit of milk... I need it for tomorrow in my oatmeal. I have a couple apples... and a couple cans of various foods... soup and tuna... soup is not that good... and tuna is good but have no bread, crackers, or even lettuce leaves to eat it with... not particularly fond of it alone.

alright i am rambling talk tomorrow... i should go to bed so I can get up for my appointment.
~Kristi
=^..^=
hey my dears...
I was 159.6 when i got up today... not bad... after my walk I was 158.8 I like that but dont think the 158.8 will stay... hopefully tomorrow i will be that or lower.

I ate some oatmeal after my walk... after a shower. I am cold now but what is new.

I think I messed up my pedometer, I  had to put in a new battery (the old one died) and I dont think it is measuring correctly. I will try to reset it again tomorrow.

alright that is it for right now... im not really sure what i have to say... so i guess its ok
~Kristi
=^..^=

Friday, March 26, 2010

Hey loves...
not a ton to write about... got a headache right now and ready to head off to bed.

Weight- the same but expected that because my lovely red friend showed up last night. uggg

I think I strained a muscle in my leg... either the tibialis, peroneus or possibly the soleus... my guess from the pain more so the tibialis... with mild other strain.... I was up and down a LOT last night because of the pain.

And get this ... i walked today... oh my gosh i was limping and i took like twice as long as usual. did 5.02 miles 422 calories...

ummm ate and purged once... want to eat but i dont really have much left as a selection... nothing really appealing. which is likely good in the long run.

so i guess this is it... gonna head off to bed and take my meds... hopefully sleep will help my headache... it is supposed to be warmer tomorrow... today it was the mid 20s most of the day tomorrow mid 40s yay... the weather man said next friday could have 70 degrees YAY!
Night loves
~Kristi
=^..^=

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Hmm hey loves... im tired... just had a difficult purge... not fun. i took back my soda bottles today and got $1.85 not much but enough to get something small...

I did not walk as much today... it was rainy... 2.67 miles 230 calories burned... uggg

I was 161.2 today... down a tiny bit. still disgusting.

alright i guess i am done... i am blah now... stupid bad purge... uggg
love you guys
~Kristi
=^..^=

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Hey my loves... not much to write about but thought i should because i didnt yesterday.

im frustrated and annoyed with my sister but what else is new right now.

I walked today... I went to the animal shelter... on monday my therapists cat passed away and I was going to take some pictures and get some background on a few cats for her. I got there at 2:45 and the lady in the office said well we are closing at 3 so you will have to come back another day. The animals have all been put to bed. Uggg its not like it was 2:55 how annoying...

I walked 6.42 miles... burned 538 calories... for the month: 90.74 miles and 7592 calories burned... seven days left to the month...

I saw my psychiatrist today... nothing new... I get to go again in 8 weeks... yep thats longer than it has been like forever. I usually go every 4 weeks... so this is a good sign.

My weight is still disgusting... 162.2 What the heck! I CANNOT go to my sisters any time soon if I want my weight to go down.

Alright that is it for tonight... <3
~Kristi
=^..^=

Ohhohh yeah almost forgot this amazing delicious looking cake i found online... i definitely want to make it... Have a look:

I CANNOT DESCRIBE MY DROOLING WHILE READING THE RECIPE! OHHMY GOSH WOW! Here is the link JUST IN CASE you think it looks as appealing to you as it does to me.http://www.omnomicon.com/rainbowcake

Monday, March 22, 2010

uggg hi... im tired so this is going to be short...
I weighed myself today not the greatest because of being at my sisters those couple days... I cant believe how eating normally affects me. I didnt even weigh myself yesterday because of the fear of weight gain. The today I was still up. DISGUSTING!

I walked today... like 4 miles... i dont have my pedometer right with me to tell you exactly.

I had therapy... my therapists cat had to be put to sleep this morning... and last week we were talking about her bringing him in to visit. I was so shocked and i am still in disbelief that I will never meet him after planning to meet him for a week. He was a gorgeous cat. (Tiger has him beat but that is no surprise because I am biased lol)

She is thinking of getting another cat... her dog Sophie has severe anxiety issues and the cat helped her so she thinks it will be good to get another (and the mouse catching abilities of the cat are greatly appreciated)

ummm ate and purged twice... kept a glass of orange juice and bowl of oatmeal down... I want a small bag of popcorn (100 calorie bag.)

I am tired so i am going to go to bed... i have to be up early tomorrow too.... and wednesday uggg
~Kristi
=^..^=

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Just a short post.... I went over to my sisters friday night... helped paint her new house... yeah she is moving... and the best part is Jessica is moving in and Now Rick is moving in... I was hoping Renee would realize that they cant hurt her and get away with it.
The story behind that is ... Renee (my sister)s boyfriend Rick and Jessica (renees daughter) slept together. Not just once... but renee has decided that it is okay now. She blames it all on Jessica... not caring that it takes two to have sex with someone. Yes dont get me wrong Jessica is Very Manipulative and she is still flirting non stop with Rick... it is sick

Ummm so I have been trying to avoid going over there it is very stressful. I dont like it. Also when I go there I have a habit to eat and not purge as much. So I have not weighed myself since friday morning... I could have today but I know because I ate yesterday I didnt want to see the horror of it.

I did not walk  much yesterday... I got out there today and walked about 5 and a half miles... it was colder out today... ugggg

I added my numbers up I have 19.78 miles left for the month. I know I will likely do more... but I will have reached my goal of 100 miles in a month.

I have a doctors appointment on like the 6th of april... that is like 2 weeks away I hope I can lose more weight before then. I dont want the doctor to see how fat I have gotten

Alright thats enough
~Kristi
=^..^=

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Hey my loves... just a short post i am really tired... I had a heck of time trying to sleep last night... uggg After my appointment today I went for my walk. I HAD to... because I didnt yesterday my weight was up to 164.2 I was pissed. so I walked 7.88 miles, burned 675 calories... in 86 minutes... ugg i should have done more.

I am like so exhausted it is crazy... I have no reason to be. I am going to finish what I have to do online then go lay down for awhile...

Love you my ladies,
~Kristi
=^..^=

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Uggg I took a sleeping pill last night and I am struggling to function today... got up like 2 hours ago but have no energy and want to go back to sleep. I will end up walking double tomorrow

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

blah blah

My weight was not down much... 164.0 hmmm I walked a little more than 5 miles... burning about 450 calories.

Im tired i didnt sleep well last night all I could think about was food and walking... uggg

Monday, March 15, 2010

walking, walking, walking

Walking... hmmm yeah I love it. Especially when the weather is nice.
Today I was 164.4 down a little more... I didnt eat my snack last night...

Today I walked 5.32 miles burning about 460 calories.

I ate and purged twice today... I am trying not to eat anymore.

I was thinking of making a goal of walking 100 miles in a month... what do you think? It might be possible if I step it up some more. So I believe I would have to walk about 48.15 more miles this month. That averages to about 3.001 miles a day. That does not seem undo able...hmmm One thing the weather has to be pretty good like it has been... i heard thought that after this coming weekend the temperature is supposed to drop again. Saturday it can be almost 60 degrees... That makes me happy lol. I may walk longer that day.

Alright thats it... I want to eat so I am going to go to bed.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

...walk... update... time change >:(

hmmm okay little thing of a post I guess

I got to walk a little while today. Not as long as I would have liked but it was windy and cold again. I hope the weather improves like it is supposed to. Tomorrow wont be the best weather wise but after that it is supposed to get better.

I walked 3.95 miles... 46 minutes... hmmm yuck... I ate and purged once too. I was 165.6 today. That is almost 10 pounds from the 7th. It doesnt feel like that but numerically it is. It is still disgusting though.

I did keep in some orange juice. I have yet to take my evening meds and a snack. popcorn is likely my snack.

I hate this daylight savings time thingy... yesterday at this time it was 6:40 now it is 7:40.... ugggg so i have to be earlier tomorrow. uggg I cant wait till my body gets used to the change.

Alright that is it for tonight HUGZ
~Kristi
=^..^=

Friday, March 12, 2010

Walking

Thought I would try my blog again... it wasnt doing what it was the other day when Laila couldnt read it. For me it was redirecting me to a different site... it is not doing that today... we will see if it continues to work.

So I am still pretty disgusted with myself. I am trying to change things... I am walking making sure its for about an hour a day.
Since March 2nd I have walked 42.58 miles. wow... thats 10 days! I didnt know it was that much till I just added it up.
I burned about 3543 calories! Wow this is great! I am so glad I am adding this up. It is really motivating.

My weight difference is not as noticeable. I am really frustrated with that. On the 7th in the evening I was 175.2... yeah evening weights are higher too... this morning I was 166.8... I will go check my weight right now for my evening weight. Alright so my evening weight is 167.6... I have yet to take my meds and small snack. So it will be higher before bed...

It is still so majorly disgusting
I need to lose the weight NOW!
Alright that is it for tonight...
~Kristi
=^..^=

Thursday, March 4, 2010

little update

Uggg, okay so today it was sort of sunny out... I went out to get the mail... it didnt feel horribly cold out so I was drawn to taking a walk. I walked for an hour... then I went to the store. Bought some crap food. Came home ate and purged.

I walked about 4 miles in an hour... I am slower than I used to be... I used to be able to walk around 6 miles an hour. Uggg.

I am finally getting back to a rested state... all the stress with my sister and her house is disapating off me. I am glad to be gone for a little while. I offered to my sister to watch the kids whenever she needs if I can.

I am tired but it is not the emotional exhaustion I was feeling.
I guess that is all for today... just a little update
~Kristi
=6..^=