Todays weight 134.4 Not bad because there was the chance of gaining with eating yesterday
Well yesterday was alright... long... I got there at about 2 pm... we ate at about 3... I ate normalish (for normal people), ham, potatoes, scalloped corn (weird lol), sweet potatoes, 2 deviled eggs. I got seconds of ham and potatoes. Drank diet pepsi. After eating I loitered around the kitchen area... ate 4 cookies (white chocolate macadamia), then someone cut a pie so I got dessert, a piece of banana cream pie and boston cream pie. ate another cookie, a bunch of water and purged. Was not bad, the amount of time I was actually eating was about 70 minutes. So not unlike binges at home, (except I wasnt really full).
After all that I went downstairs (my sisters house is huge, their own design, you know what a wealthy husband really helps with lol) They have an actual movie theater room in their house. You know like a tv screen the size of a wall, 8 super plush recliners or maybe it was 10, yeah i think 10. They have 4 bedrooms, at least 4 bathrooms, the downstairs has a handmade bar, like 2 flat screens and mirrors and enough liqour for a massive party. They have 4 of those old arcade games, like the big box joystick ones, and a japanese slot machine, pool table, workout room... you know pretty much everything.
I ate a couple cookies and a couple pieces of ham right before we left... I got really nauseous and I thought I was going to get sick in the car on the way home. But I didnt. I got home purged... I was going to eat my leftovers and purge but my stomach was not feeling good... I laid down for awhile... around 10:30 pm I ate my leftovers... purged... went to bed.
Today I got woke up by my lovely kitty at 6:30 and I couldnt fall back asleep. So I got up and got ready for my therapy appointment... I had $15 so I went to subway for a double bacon, egg, and cheese flatbread... it was buy a 6in get a 6in free. Pretty good (like I want to go there every monday before therapy kind of good, but that would mean purging before therapy 10 am) dont really like to purge that early in the day... but you know that was so good it might be worth it.
Therapy was alright... actually possibly productive... I told her I want to stop binging. Which I do, it really is scaring me how much I am able to eat and purge. I dont want to cut down on purging or not eating... I just dont want to binge like I have been. I was okay talking about it for a little bit but when we were actually talking about trying to eat more so I wont feel the need to binge, and then talking about if it starts to make me hungry (but not like the hunger I have now, but one i feel I cant control) and I dont ever really feel full, I can get the full sense physically like painful full but I still want to eat then, so not really an emotional full? I got really anxious and by the end of the conversation I was willing to say screw it, im not going to gain and be hungry and eat all the time... I have to just do what I do now... keep maybe a dill pickle a day and have a bp
I dont know... I do want to cut down on the binging. I dont want to gain, or be eating all the time... I dont like purging multiple times a day (like everytime I would eat) but I dont know... maybe that would be better right now.
ahh today is also measurement monday
Hips: 34.5 (35)
LR Hip: 32
Waist: 24 (24.5)
Breast: 30 (30.5)
Neck: 11.5
R Thigh: 18.25 (18.5)
L Thigh: 17.5 (17.75)
RU Arm: 9
LU Arm: 9
R Wrist: 5.25 (5.5)
L Wrist: 5.25 (5.5)
R Calf: 12.5
L Calf: 12.25
That is down 2.5 inches, since last monday I lost 2.6 pounds
No comments:
Post a Comment