hey...
im okayish right now...

just bp'd
7 slices bread and butter
2 steamfresh bags of broccoli with butter
1 box tuna helper
Pre-purge 151.8, Post purge 142.8

I was 141.4 this morning... maybe I can be back to 140.0 saturday... ehhh not likely... weigh in for the competition is usually saturday for me...

I saw my case worker today, she says I am doing better than I give myself credit for. but she is oblivious to my ed behaviors (havnt told her and therapist hasnt told her) She did ask if I self-injured but I said no.

I just feel that because I am feeling depressed I am failing. And that because I think that any med change was going to send me in a massive depression spiral. I am mad at myself for just thinking that because I feel like it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I am trying to do things to keep myself busy and to not let those thoughts be anything more than thoughts. But I feel like a failure just feeling them.

I HATE BEING FAT!!