Thank you Laila <3 love you so much

uggg today is crap

somehow i gained a pound... 138.0 freaking stupid
and my night weight was not up last night so frick

Im trying not to binge today... i dont know if I will make it but i dont know if i care
I just need to lose weight

I feel like crap... i got up to a weight gain, then its warmer out but its rainy and super windy, so just going outside to enjoy the warmer weather is pointless its cold with the wind and rain...
Last night we had some heavy duty thunderstorms... I like them but I can sleep with them

I got online for a little bit but im like so crappy mood i want to stay in bed and not be concious... i hate feeling depressed....
I tried watching a couple tv shows but I just felt like crying over nothing...
I tried helping a friend who is having a crisis... not very well done

i had to go talk to my landlord lady... gave her a paper for recertification but the other 2 papers were not good... so i have to get my bank to fill some form out...and my bank is a pain in the ars with these papers they wont fill them out with me... they say they dont have time and they take them and mail them later

had to do it last year...

so at 4 i laid down... not really to sleep i just didnt want to be anywhere...

im trying not to binge... i ate so far:
2 pm a dill pickle spear (5 cals)
4 pm 1 teaspoon sunflower seeds (15 cals)
6:45 pm a dill pickle spear (5 cals)

i dont know... i can make rice, turkey burgers, or ramen... i dont have any other choices for real foods

i HOPE my case worker will get me food tomorrow but I havnt heard from her. I called and left her a message today. It is odd that she never called back or text me.

i keep thinking if i bp i might feel better

having no food and no money is really messing me up

i want to eat

but i gained this morning for no reason... im too fat to eat, i should feel like this because i deserve it

ugggggg