hey... so yesterday i went with my friend to the drive in, we saw Cars 2 and Mr. Poppers Penguins, they were pretty good. I like spending time with friends, I hate how I dont have many and have too much social anxiety to really make new ones. But I like the friends I do have. They are the best.

I spent the night at her house, didnt sleep well but I usually dont at anyone elses houses
we stopped at Tim Hortons this morning... I got a bagel and muffin and ice capp.

I got home and did a couple things on the computer and went to the store and bought a few things and came home and binged... purged, my weight was 120 (not bad for little sleep and after bping) And I kept down light popcorn last night (took my own 200 cal bag with me to the drive in)

I laid down and took about an hour nap, got up went outside for awhile and read. Came in and binged... purged.   sat around using the computer... its about 10 pm now im finishing another bp

I am taking a normal dose of lax tonight, I may be going over to my sisters tomorrow, see the kids and do laundry. May end up spending the night... not sure what my weight is gonna do...

I havnt measured in almost 2 weeks... I feel so fat

My friend said I am very thin, I wish I could understand that. I 'understand' that my weight is lower and technically I am underweight but I still have so much fat on me. Wont it be okay if I just lose that? I dont understand... I know all this is absolutely ridiculous, I know it is the disorder messing with my thinking but uggg I hate not understanding sh*t

alright I gotta go purge and im tired so its bed time