Today went okay i guess, im still freaking out a little though but I will get to that in a minute

I weighed in at 113.0 today, so I lost 4.8 pounds last week... cool

Therapy was ehh, my therapist actually was trying to do something productive (rather talk about my eating and weight over and over), we talked about my thoughts and me trying to figure out if they are true or false (sick thoughts)

I met with my friend we had lunch, I had this really good chicken caberra wrap thing, and my friend had lobster mac and cheese. I didnt know this place in town but yeah I am definitely going again sometime, just have to find someone to go with.

I worked for my friend for 2 hours... then she dropped me off at my dr appointment. While waiting to be seen I went and purged a little of my lunch... I know it wasnt all of it let alone half but it helped my thoughts a little

They did my height and weight... I am actually 5'11.25" so I am actually a quarter of an inch taller than I thought. I was not able to see my weight though. So I dont know what they think my weight is.

They did 2 ekgs, after the 1st one the nurse checked all the leads but they were all connected (I thought something was wrong for a minute) but nothing was said about it by my doctor.
My potassium is a little low though, not good... but my dr said I could fix it with eating or drinking gatorade so it is not that bad. I bought a bottle of G2, and I have to get repeat bloodwork on wednesday. She said I was dehydrated a little too. But I have been drinking all day so I dont know

I made $30 working for my friend, I was supposed to give $20 to someone for something but when I went to the store to buy the G2 I kind of lost my head, I bought what I could and spent all the money plus 31 cents from my bank account that has like 40 cents left in it.

I started eating as soon as I got home... now what Im freaking about still... I should have weighed myself before I started eating because after I was all done purging my weight is still 3 pounds up from this morning... I dont know how much of the lunch is still in my body but damn i dont want it in there...  I want to take lax but I  dont know if I should, well I know I probably shouldnt until I get my bloodwork done and make sure my potassium is better. But crap the food is turning to fat and im gonna gain more weight... uggg I am so frustrated... im mad too I just want to eat more and more... I am seriously just wanting to eat everything.

My bp was 11 pounds and I was not even full when I purged... but like my skin was all tight whereas when I have not binged my stomach skin hangs... but it looked like the skin of a pregnant lady all stretched...

I am so tired too but I want to bp again but I KNOW I dont have the energy to purge so I cant eat... uggg

tomorrow is the eval with the buffalo centre I will write about how it goes... but im gonna try to go to bed... hopefully sleep, then maybe I can get away from my thoughts for a little while.

I did drink 8 oz of G2 gatorade... so im trying to be okay.